You’re in the Right Relationship

Many people believe that we don’t choose our partners, and destiny puts us together. Whether that is true or not, it’s important to know if you’re in a healthy relationship.

So, how do you know if you’re in the right relationship?

Here are our tips to help you understand if you’re in the “right relationship” or understand and correctly steer your “wrong relationship”.

1. Communication is kind, open and honest.
You know you’re in the right relationship when your words towards each other are kind and loving (more often than not). Of course, you’ll have your ups and downs, but if kind communication is consistent you have a winning formula.

Of course, not only do you want to speak kindly to each other, but also open and honest. In the right relationship, you can tell your partner ANYTHING without being judged or criticized. Likewise, you can be honest and expect understanding and love. If you feel like you cannot be open and honest, that’s a problem.

Likewise, you want to be sure you are receiving the open and honest truth from your partner. The truth is, we humans aren’t always perfect. So, if you catch your partner in a little white lie, don’t immediately send them off with packed bags.  Forgive, and encourage the importance of honesty. You deserve nothing less than kind, open and honest communication, so be sure that’s a cornerstone in your relationship.

2. You and your partner understand exactly how to make the other feel truly loved.
We all have different preferences when it comes to receiving love. In the right relationship, both partners understand the others needs and want to care for them in the best way possible.  From as small as a cup of coffee in the morning or a warm dinner at night, to a romantic mountain getaway for your anniversary, the right partner knows exactly what makes your heart swoon.

This is effectively done through the right communication. You don’t expect the other to read your mind. You learn, get to know your partner and act in a way that makes them fall in love with you even more.

3. You keep conflict and fights “on the down low”.
Conflict in any relationship is expected. No matter how perfect you are for each other, you will not agree on everything. Disagreements are natural and healthy, because you are speaking your mind and standing up for yourself.   It’s better to talk and find out how the other feels than to hide it and let it creep out even uglier later.

The key to disagreements is to listen without defending and speak without offending.  You want to keep fighting at bay and just between you two. When you call up a close friend or family member and get them involved that is childish and inappropriate. The key to a happy, healthy relationship is to talk about your disagreements and if you have to, agree to disagree.

If you plan on staying together for a long time, you’ll have to master this tip. If you don’t, you may have many more battles ahead of you (or worse an end to your relationship).

4. Your trusted friends and family approve.
Your close friends and family know you better than you know your self sometimes. When you fall in love, you may forget to take your brain with you. It’s easy to fall in love, especially if your partners got those smooth moves. ;) The people who care about you have opinions that matter. If the consensus is positive about your relationship, GREAT.

If it’s not. . . ask questions. Find out “Why?”

Contrary to your young rebellious beliefs, their opinion matters. It doesn’t mean to do what they say. Sometimes other people have opinions with their own motives behind them. But, it’s important to look for truth in what they are saying.

5. There is a healthy blend of time together (and time apart).
When you fall in love, you may want to do nothing but be wrapped up like John Lennon and Yoko Ono, not leaving each other for days on end.  But when you have time apart, it gives you insight into how valuable your relationship really is.  Seeing someone after time apart yields an extra special feeling that can not be replicated.

It’s also a great way for each of you to do something you love, that the other may not take much of an interest to. Understand the right balance and keep it going. This blend is different for each couple.  Find your own that works for the both of you.

6.  You see service above self.
In the right relationship, it’s important for you to be happy, but there’s nothing wrong with going the extra mile to outwardly show your love for your significant other.

Now I’m not talking about abandoning self-care or waiting on them hand over foot, I’m talking about making them feel warm and fuzzy inside.  Not only will the right partner appreciate the show of grace, but they will want to do the same for you.

Make work fun

Here are some helpful suggestions to make work fun:

 1: Listen to music.
If practical, bring some headphones or portable stereo with you to work. If someone complains, tell them to consider this: researchers at the University of Illinois found that people who listened to music while doing complex analytical work or administrative tasks increased their productivity.

2: Fung Shui your workspace.
Energize and organize your workspace by doing some of all of the following: use colored post-its or paper clips, stack your baskets, use color-coded folders, get a small plant or flower, or have pictures and other inspirational stuff around.

3: Have a stress ball or something else to play with.
If you work on a computer or talk to people all day, it can get boring and stressful real quick. Having something pliable in your hand, like a stress ball, can help ease the boredom.

4: Change your screensaver.
Instead of your company logo, change the computer screen to a picture of nature, your favorite sports team or something else that is pleasant.

5: Use your breaks to their full advantage.
Contrary to the corporate mindset, extended time at your desk does not increase productivity. Long stretches of concentrated work demand that your brain and body recharge, and you should be doing so.

6: Create special interest groups.
Incorporate passionate endeavors into the workplace by forming a group with likeminded people. Create a fantasy football group, exercise group, political or current events group, etc…

7: Have a potluck.
Regardless of what anyone says, food is fun. People love preparing food that they know will be enjoyed and appreciated by their coworkers.

8: Have Team-building events.
Find a way to get out of the office and enjoy each other’s company. This brings your group closer together and provides a nice boost to morale and productivity.

9: Celebrate milestones and successes.
People love recognition for a job well done and for their loyalty. Concentrate your resources and provide a small cash bonus or some kind of memento that shows appreciation for that individual’s efforts.

10: Prizes for production.
When a coworker achieves or does something beyond the normal scope of their duties, such as making the first sale of the day or staying a half-hour late for their team, have some small prizes for them to choose from.

11: Work for yourself, either on the side or full-time.
Consider doing enjoyable freelance work or starting your own business from home. There are many ways to earn an income, or even multiple incomes, on your own schedule and your own terms.

12: Have a charity day.
There’s something to be said about a workplace that gives back to the community. Consider a paid day where staff can get out of the office and contribute something to the greater good.

13: Send funnies around.
Send out an email with a good (appropriate!) joke and watch the tension and stuffiness of the workplace diminish. This reinforces the important element of humor in the workplace…and it is important.

14: Supervisor roasting.
This is a blast. Managers are unique in that eyes are constantly on them, and as a result so are their little quirks. Have a day where a good-natured manager can take a little ribbing and share some laughs with their team.

15: Teammate roasting.
This, too, is a blast. While not quite as fun or fulfilling as roasting a manager, some good-natured humor directed at your teammate is a good morale booster.

16: Have a welcome committee.
When new team members join, have them fill out some fun information about themselves (favorite sports team, hobby, TV show, anything), and have the committee take them out to lunch or surprise them with fun stuff for their workspace.

17: Pick your own schedule.
For team members that deliver excellent results, let them pick their own schedule for the week or the month.

18: Games, games, games.
Some workplaces have video game systems, table tennis, or foosball tables available for people to play on their breaks and lunches, and as a reward for excellent production. This is a huge morale booster and keeps the workplace productive and fun.

19: Have a movie day.
It’s simple to set up a TV and DVD player, so gather the team or the workplace around and watch a flick. From experience, this is a fun and productive event. Comedies are awesome, as the team can share and enjoy some laughter – another important part of having fun in the workplace.

20: Take fun seriously.
Kind of a paradox, yes; but workplaces that mix fun stuff into their workplaces are healthier, more productive, and distinguish themselves from the grind that so many other employers put their workers through. Taking the idea of fun in the workplace as a serious notion, either by yourself or as a team, brings happiness and joy to a place where it is much-needed.

How do you know if it’s truly love or just lust?

Sometimes our heart and mind get so caught up that it’s hard to tell the difference. In the moment, we feel so amazing that sometimes we just don’t care. But, it’s important to be careful. A broken heart can be devastating. Especially if you allow yourself to fall in love with the wrong person (in that case check out Karen Salmansohn’s book “Prince Harming Syndrome”). Or, if you develop strong feelings for someone who doesn’t desire the same level of commitment.

Any and all situations can arise, but we specifically want to help you determine if it’s truly love or just lust.
How to Tell If It’s LOVE. . . or Just Lust

First, it’s important to know exactly what both are and what they aren’t.

Real, true, unconditional LOVE is an intense feeling of affection – it’s fondness, warmth, attachment and endearment in the most intense and powerful way.  True love forms a strong emotional attachment. It withstands troubles, problems, imperfections and upset.

Lust is simply a very strong sexual desire. Lust revolves completely around attraction and sex. While lust is needed for love, love is not needed for lust. It can feel very powerful and usually it does. ;)  But, it cannot withstand time. It’s not unconditional and it will fade.

This may contribute to today’s divorce rate. You’ve got to be careful not to allow lust to dominate the relationship when love is truly the driving force for a beautiful, lasting relationship.

To fall in love, you must be willing to accept that person at their very best and worst. You get to know them fully and see them for who they truly are. You learn about their past and talk about their aspirations for the future. If together you see yourself as a perfect fit and can truly visualize your life together, you may be falling in love.

When you truly fall in love, it’s mutual. You are both head over heels for each other. Falling in love doesn’t mean your life will always be easy. Because, truthfully, it can get tough. But, you can be tough together (trust me you’ll need to be).
You know you’re in love when you. . .

– Fall in LOVE with someone who absolutely adores YOU – who cherishes you fully and embraces your imperfections.

– Fall in LOVE with someone you can’t stop thinking about. ;)

– Fall in LOVE with someone who you love with your whole heart.

– Fall in LOVE with someone that you think is absolutely, all-over-the-place SEXY – mind, body & soul!

– Fall in LOVE with someone who cares about your happiness and listens openly about your feelings.

– Fall in LOVE with someone you admire and who admires you.

– Fall in LOVE with someone that finishes your sentences and compliments who you are.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who makes you feel like you’re the most amazing person in the whole world.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who has strengths in areas that you need improvement. Many of the best relationships are people who are complete opposites.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who you get lost in conversation with (for hours at a time)!

– Fall in LOVE with someone who makes you want to be a better person and can help you do that.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who WANTS to meet your closest friends and family, and then accepts you even after that.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who you hold a deep romantic passion for. In fact, they are the only one you desire!

The TRUTH is when you fall in love, you aren’t choosing lust or love. You are creating a balance of the two. Both are needed for a successful, long lasting relationship. Cheers to you and your relationship success! <3

Finish the sentence: “Fall in LOVE with someone . . . “

Positive-Affirmation

Habits Happy People Have It’s time to program new thoughts and habits with the affirmations below to help bring you what you DO want as opposed to what you don’t want.
Here are  Affirmations to Help you Build Positive Self-Talk

positive-affirmation-affirmations

•     All is always well.
•     I am confident and capable.
•     I attract positive people in my life.
•     I know who I am and I am enough.
•     The positive energy around me is continuously expanding.
•     I choose to be present and mindful right now.
•     I am grateful for my miraculous life.
•     I choose to think positive thoughts that serve me.
•     I fulfill the promises I make to myself and others.
•     I love sharing my happiness with everyone around me.
•     I feel energetic and so alive.
•     I am in control of the way I respond to the behavior of others.
•     I have the will. I have the way.
•     I am love, peace, hope, joy, truth and positive, radiant light!
•     I forgive and release. I am filling my heart and mind with love.
•     All of my needs are met. I thrive from where I am right now.
•     I inhale positivity and exhale negativity.
•     I fuel my body with health and activity.
•     I am talented, creative and successful.
•     Like the waves of an ocean, peace washes over me; cleansing and rejuvenating my spirit.
•     I choose to reach for a better feeling.
•     I grow stronger every day.
•     I speak kindly to myself and others.
•     My life is unfolding perfectly.
•     I choose to see everyone as an opportunity and search for solutions.

How to make positive self-talk a habit with these affirmations:

Put up post-it notes around your house where you’ll see them often.  It’s critical that you constantly remind yourself of your favorite positive affirmations every day, in all situations until they become a habit and your co-creative ability is flowing naturally.  Shine ON!

Happy people (But Never Talk About)

1. Happy people don’t need acceptance.

In our culture, it’s often about your “inner circle.” It’s not what you know; it’s who you know.

Right?

Wrong. For many happy people, they are simply themselves, and through their infectious, radiant energy they attract other happy people.

Happy people don’t need to fit in with the crowd or change so that others will like them. They live and are guided by who they truly are and don’t need others to accept them.

2. Happy people embrace the temporary.

Happy people enjoy the ride and accept the bumps in the road that come along with it. They do so because they know that life is short and that things always work out. Besides, they are too busy excitedly awaiting the next good thing to come along anyways.

Jobs, relationships, and circumstances all come and go. In the meantime, happy people seek out their next adventure, learn and make the most of it.

3. Happy people refuse to be denied their dreams.

Happy people are not only gregarious, loving people, but they are also passionate about their dreams and tough-minded. They take hits in stride. They don’t settle for excuses or problems, they create solutions. Their dreams are far too important!

They deeply care about their hopes, dreams, and goals. Ask a happy person what they want out of life. Most times, they will have an immediate answer. Happy people are driven, passionate and creative individuals with a positive end goal in mind that is usually for the betterment of not only themselves but for humanity and a better future.

One tip though. . . Don’t get in the way of that dream. They may take their happy face off for a minute or two.

Well, maybe not. But, they surely won’t let you stand in their way.

4. Happy people embrace equality.

There are people among us who have a pedestal and tend to look down on and criticize others. They look for other’s faults like theirs a reward for it, as Zig Ziglar once said.

But, truly happy people are completely different. They treat other people as equals, regardless of differences.

Look at some of the revolutionaries that have lived amongst us. The Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Theresa… the list goes on. Do you notice a characteristic that is common among them all? They were ALL for equality. They were also optimistic and loving people who went to any level to help others.

We are all one, and happy people know it.

5. Happy people put themselves first.

Putting yourself first is important. Our society needs to re-evaluate the misconstrued belief about this. We aren’t referring to being selfish, greedy and “Numero Uno”.

We are talking about healthy self-care. Happy people love and take care of themselves because that is the only way that they can show up for other people.

It’s true!

By constantly sacrificing your own needs, you cannot true and fully take care of others. Happy people know this and have to put themselves first once in a while to show their best selves and be of service to others.

6. Happy people don’t worry about money.

Many of the happiest people in the world are just average people with modest means. They take pleasures in the small, free things like the weather, their family and friends, good food, a good book, the ability to walk, clean water, and the list goes on…

Happy people understand that money is just a form of energy and there is always enough provided at all times. Money creates more freedom, but happy know that they truly don’t need money to be happy – it’s just an added bonus.

No matter how much they have, there is never lack – there is always enough. Happy people don’t talk about money problems, even if they have less than everyone else.

Most happy people don’t lust money. Lusting is greed. They may welcome more, but they don’t allow the worry for more to consume their life so much that they can’t enjoy where they are right now.

7. Happy people make small differences every day.

One of the greatest things about happy people is that they often do little things every day that make themselves and other people better and happier. They see humanity as something that needs to be improved, and they perform whatever deeds necessary to do so.

Happy people have daily habits that are positive and they strive to live every day this way, because they understand that overall small differences make a BIG difference. Happy people truly enjoy making a difference. J

Ever notice when you are particularly giddy, you are more likely to leave a bigger tip, smile, or make someones day?

This is perhaps the best thing about happy people: they make these small differences every day, all day.
They smile at the stranger looking down, they leave the tip for the waitress struggling to make ends meet, and they embrace and support the friend that is hurting.
The insightfulness of happy people is truly something to behold, and it can be summarized easily: Happy people are consistently positive in all ways! 

Ways to Live a Simple Life

In our daily lives, we often rush through tasks, trying to get them done, trying to finish as much as we can each day, speeding along in our cars to our next destination, rushing to do what we need to do there, and then leaving so that we can speed to our next destination.


Unfortunately, it’s often not until we approach our final destination that we realize what madness this all is. At the end of the day, we’re often exhausted and stressed out from the grind and the chaos and the business of the day. We don’t have time for what’s important to us, for what we really want to be doing, for spending time with loved ones, for doing things we’re passionate about.


Here are  Ways You Can Start to Live a Simple Life.

simple-life

•     Don’t spend money on things you don’t really need.
•     Avoid debts, if at all possible.
•     Have a garage sale to get rid of old junk you don’t use.
•     Buy a bike instead of a car (you’ll save money on insurance, gas, repairs, a car note, and      maintenance).
•     Avoid costly medical bills by adopting a whole foods, plant-based diet.
•     Prep meals for the week ahead of time.
•     Make your own beauty and hygiene products at home.
•     Make your own cleaning products (you’ll avoid harmful chemicals and spend less).
•     Only keep the clothes you actually wear, and give away the rest.
•     Live in a smaller home
•     (If you’re really feeling up to it) Live off-the-grid (or get grid-adjacent) to reduce or get rid of electric, gas, and water bills.
•     Start a garden, compost your food, and cut down on your weekly grocery bill.
•     Every time you buy something new, get rid of something old.
•     Have designated days to do laundry.
•     Drop your cell phone plan, and use the Wi-Fi in your home or Internet cafes instead.
•     Live closer to nature.
•     Buy a fluoride filter for your entire house so you don’t have to buy jugs on non-fluoridated water.
•     Live within your means.
•     Adopt an attitude of gratitude.
•     Smile like you mean it.
•     Avoid drama.
•     Unplug everything when you’re not using it.
•     Have a set time each day to check social media (and stick to it).
•     Cancel your cable bill if you rarely watch TV.
•     Spend time outdoors as much as possible.
•     Let go of the past, and live in the present.
•     Create your future, but don’t worry about what’s to come.
•     Meditate daily.
•     Exercise often.
•     Try to use natural remedies for ailments when possible.
•     Give items you don’t use to the homeless or poor.
•     Don’t leave lights on when you’re not home.
•     Try to buy energy-efficient appliances.
•     Buy high-quality items that won’t need replacing often.
•     Automate your bill payments.
•     Reduce credit cards.
•     Don’t charge anything you can’t pay back quickly.
•     Listen more than you talk.
•     PLAY MORE!!!
•     Work less. :)
•     Laugh at least 30 times a day.
•     Take relaxing baths in Epsom salt and lavender oil.
•     Have friends who inspire you.
•     Distance yourself from energy vampires.
•     Write down your goals, and go after them.
•     Don’t wait for things to happen; make them happen.
•     Pack what you need for a flight in a carry-on bag only to avoid baggage fees.
•     Consider buying a used car instead of new.
•     Downsize when you can.
•     Become a warrior, not a worrier.
•     Turn your passion into your job.
•     See if you can work from home if possible.
•     Don’t overbook your life.
•     Spend at least one day a week entirely in nature.
•     Speak gently to people.
•     Make your own dog or cat food for pets (cheaper and healthier).
•     Buy locally grown produce.
•     Only buy new things when old things break.
•     Shred old papers you don’t need.
•     Avoid letting your emails pile up.
•     Organize your computer files.
•     Limit your time on social media.
•     Go with the flow.
•     Tackle problems before they get out of hand.
•     Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
•     Don’t chase perfection; embrace imperfections.
•     Have a home gym to avoid paying for a gym membership.
•     Or, make nature your gym. :)
•     Make to-do lists.
•     Simply SMILE.
•     Forgive and forget.
•     Make your own baby food if you have young children.
•     Let your kids play in nature (it’s free) rather than buying them tons of toys.
•     Move to another country where the cost of living is cheaper.
•     Try to eliminate bills where you can.
•     Buy bundled services (phone and internet).
•     Check emails only a couple times a day.
•     Pack minimally for trips.
•     Eat at home more.
•     Wash dishes right after you eat so they don’t pile up.
•     Love everyone.
•     Do all your errands in one go.
•     Buy clothing that will last.
•     Make a grocery list before you go shopping.
•     Have only a couple of email addresses.
•     Always tell the truth.
•     Follow your heart.
•     Appreciate the little things in life.
•     Practice positive thinking!
•     Give up alcohol and cigarettes (you’ll save money and your health).
•     Wake up with the sun to get more done. :)
•     Be productive.
•     Go to college only if you want to, not because you think you have to.
•     Become a self-taught learner, and seek information online.
•     Do what you enjoy, avoid what you don’t.
•     Ask for help when you need it.
•     Delegate some chores to your kids or spouse.
•     Don’t take on more work than you can do.
•     Stay humble.
•     Keep an open mind.
•     Carpool to reduce your carbon footprint and save money on gas.
•     (BONUS): Live your life in a way that makes you happiest!

Forgiveness is The Gift You Give Yourself:

1. Forgiveness can bring you a renewed peaceful spirit.

When you forgive others, even those who severely did you wrong, you find yourself feeling more positive overall and less stressed. You may even experience health benefits like lower blood pressure. It’s important to forgive others, not because they deserve your forgiveness, but because YOU deserve peace. You deserve to feel renewed and healed; and you will. Just forgive. . .
2. Forgivenesss allows you to move in the direction of your goals.

When someone hurts or offends you, negative feelings of bitterness or revenge are created. Don’t let yourself pay the price over and over. Oftentimes, the focus on the past and the hurt will keep you from enjoying the wonders of today and the potential of tomorrow. Although you may think you’re a great multi-tasker (and you may be), your mind can only focus on one thing. When you allow yourself to forgive others immediately, you can focus on what truly matters, your goals, dreams and life purpose.
3. Forgiveness can bring more LOVE into your life.

Many act out in negative ways to somehow fulfill a desire for love and attention. When we forgive, we acknowledge that we are all imperfect and that we all make mistakes. With this new open-minded and compassionate perspective, we can learn to easily forgive and send well wishes to even those we feel you should “hate”.

Forgiving others is about releasing the role of being the victim. When you no longer see yourself as a victim, you will find people in turn treat you better and there is less need to forgive. You have opened your life up to more love and expanded your consciousness to a higher frequency of love. Oohhh la la . . . :)
4.  Forgiveness allows you to have more understanding and compassion.

Embracing forgiveness is wonderful and can lead to positive feelings of understanding, compassion and empathy for the one who upset you. Believe it or not, everyone is doing the best they can, with what they have, where they are. We are all truly positive, loving beings by nature. Although, it doesn’t always appear that way, that is our true intention at heart.

With so much hurt in the world, it can be hard to see it that way. We want to point blame and hold grudges.  But, if we can see life as our school and ourselves as students then, in some way, everyone is a teacher.

This new perspective allows us to take the pain and transcend it into a lesson. Then, you no longer have to keep repeating the same pain. Everyone is brought into our lives to teach us something. What can the one your hate teach you right now, so you can release it and forgive?
5. Forgiveness allows us to take control of our own happiness.

Law of Attraction enthusiasts know that like attracts like and that our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. We always have the ability to take control of our own happiness and life when we take responsibility for our emotions.

No matter the chaos around us, when we can stay centered from the inside and make wise and mature decisions (like forgiveness), we pave a life filled with happiness and love. On the contrary, if we allows others to steal our peace and rob us of our joy, we are essentially giving them the drivers seat in our life.

Forgiveness is a lifestyle commitment. It’s letting go every day and letting happiness in.