How to raise your emotional intelligence

All information to the brain comes through our senses and when this information is overwhelmingly stressful or emotional, instinct will take over and our ability to act will be limited to the flight, fight, or flee response. Therefore, to have access to the wide range of choices and make good decisions, we need to be able to bring our emotions into balance at will.
Memory is also strongly linked to emotion. By learning to use the emotional part of your brain as well as the rational, you’ll not only expand your range of choices when it comes to responding to a new event, you’ll also factor emotional memory into your decision-making. This will help prevent you from continually repeating earlier mistakes.
To improve your emotional intelligence—and your decision-making abilities—you need to understand and control the emotional side of your brain. This is done by developing five key skills. By mastering the first two skills, you’ll find skills 3, 4, and 5 much easier to learn.
 

Developing emotional intelligence through five key skills:

Emotional intelligence consists of five key skills, each building on the last:

• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 1: The ability to quickly reduce stress.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 2: The ability to recognize and manage your emotions.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 3: The ability to connect with others using nonverbal communication.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 4: The ability to use humor and play to deal with challenges.
• Emotional intelligence (EQ) skill 5: The ability to resolve conflicts positively and with confidence.

How to learn the five key skills of emotional intelligence

The five skills of emotional intelligence can be learned by anyone, at any time. But there is a difference between learning about emotional intelligence and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you know you should do something doesn’t mean you will—especially when you become overwhelmed by stress, which can hijack your best intentions.
In order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you need to learn how to take advantage of the powerful emotional parts of the brain that remain active and accessible even in times of stress. This means that you can’t simply read about emotional intelligence in order to master it. You have to experience and practice the skills in your everyday life.