Obstacles to finding lasting love

Life as a single person offers many rewards, including learning how to build a healthy relationship with yourself. However, if you’re ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, worthwhile relationship, life as a single person can also be very frustrating. Maybe you’re confused about why you seem to end up in relationships that don’t last, or perhaps you’re angry and wonder why you keep repeating the same bad choices when it comes to dating and forming relationships. Or maybe you grew up in a household where there was no role model of a solid, healthy relationship and you doubt that such a thing even exists. Well, healthy relationships do exist. But few, if any, are perfect. They all require work, compromise, and a willingness to resolve conflict in a positive way. What is a healthy relationship? A healthy relationship is when two people develop a connection based on: Mutual respect Trust Honesty Support Fairness/equality Separate identities Good communication A sense of playfulness/fondness Myths About Dating and Looking for Love               Myth  “I can only be happy and  fulfilled if I’m in a relationship”  or “It’s better to have a bad relationship than no relationship.”	Reality While there are health benefits that come with being in a healthy relationship, many people can be just as happy and fulfilled without being part of a couple. Despite the stigma in some social circles that accompanies being single, it’s important not to enter a relationship just to “fit in.” Being alone and being lonely are not the same. Nothing is as unhealthy and dispiriting as being in a bad relationship.
“If I don’t feel an instant attraction  to someone, it’s not a relationship worth  pursuing.”	This is an important myth to dispel, especially if you have a history of making inappropriate choices. Instant sexual attraction and lasting love do not necessarily go hand-in-hand. Emotions change and deepen over time, and friends become lovers—if you give those relationships a chance to develop.
“Women have different emotions to men.”	Women and men feel similar things but express their feelings differently, often according to society’s conventions. But both men and women experience the same core emotions such as sadness, anger, fear, and joy.
“True love is constant” or “Physical attraction fades over time.”	Love is rarely static, but that doesn’t mean love or physical attraction is doomed to fade over time. As we age, both men and women have fewer sexual hormones but emotion influences passion more than hormones, and sexual passion can become stronger over time.
“I’ll be able to change the things I don’t like about someone.”	You can’t change anyone. People only change if and when they want to change.
“I didn’t feel close to my parents, so intimacy is always going to be uncomfortable for me.”	It’s never too late to change any pattern of behavior. Over time, and with enough effort, you can change the way you think, feel, and act.
“Disagreements always create problems in a relationship.”	Conflict doesn’t have to be negative or destructive. With the right resolution skills, conflict can also be an opportunity for growth in a relationship.