Wednesday, May 13, 2015

You’re in the Right Relationship


Many people believe that we don’t choose our partners, and destiny puts us together. Whether that is true or not, it’s important to know if you’re in a healthy relationship.

So, how do you know if you’re in the right relationship?

Here are our tips to help you understand if you’re in the “right relationship” or understand and correctly steer your “wrong relationship”.

1. Communication is kind, open and honest.
You know you’re in the right relationship when your words towards each other are kind and loving (more often than not). Of course, you’ll have your ups and downs, but if kind communication is consistent you have a winning formula.

Of course, not only do you want to speak kindly to each other, but also open and honest. In the right relationship, you can tell your partner ANYTHING without being judged or criticized. Likewise, you can be honest and expect understanding and love. If you feel like you cannot be open and honest, that’s a problem.

Likewise, you want to be sure you are receiving the open and honest truth from your partner. The truth is, we humans aren’t always perfect. So, if you catch your partner in a little white lie, don’t immediately send them off with packed bags.  Forgive, and encourage the importance of honesty. You deserve nothing less than kind, open and honest communication, so be sure that’s a cornerstone in your relationship.

2. You and your partner understand exactly how to make the other feel truly loved.
We all have different preferences when it comes to receiving love. In the right relationship, both partners understand the others needs and want to care for them in the best way possible.  From as small as a cup of coffee in the morning or a warm dinner at night, to a romantic mountain getaway for your anniversary, the right partner knows exactly what makes your heart swoon.

This is effectively done through the right communication. You don’t expect the other to read your mind. You learn, get to know your partner and act in a way that makes them fall in love with you even more.

3. You keep conflict and fights “on the down low”.
Conflict in any relationship is expected. No matter how perfect you are for each other, you will not agree on everything. Disagreements are natural and healthy, because you are speaking your mind and standing up for yourself.   It’s better to talk and find out how the other feels than to hide it and let it creep out even uglier later.

The key to disagreements is to listen without defending and speak without offending.  You want to keep fighting at bay and just between you two. When you call up a close friend or family member and get them involved that is childish and inappropriate. The key to a happy, healthy relationship is to talk about your disagreements and if you have to, agree to disagree.

If you plan on staying together for a long time, you’ll have to master this tip. If you don’t, you may have many more battles ahead of you (or worse an end to your relationship).

4. Your trusted friends and family approve.
Your close friends and family know you better than you know your self sometimes. When you fall in love, you may forget to take your brain with you. It’s easy to fall in love, especially if your partners got those smooth moves. ;) The people who care about you have opinions that matter. If the consensus is positive about your relationship, GREAT.

If it’s not. . . ask questions. Find out “Why?”

Contrary to your young rebellious beliefs, their opinion matters. It doesn’t mean to do what they say. Sometimes other people have opinions with their own motives behind them. But, it’s important to look for truth in what they are saying.

5. There is a healthy blend of time together (and time apart).
When you fall in love, you may want to do nothing but be wrapped up like John Lennon and Yoko Ono, not leaving each other for days on end.  But when you have time apart, it gives you insight into how valuable your relationship really is.  Seeing someone after time apart yields an extra special feeling that can not be replicated.

It’s also a great way for each of you to do something you love, that the other may not take much of an interest to. Understand the right balance and keep it going. This blend is different for each couple.  Find your own that works for the both of you.

6.  You see service above self.
In the right relationship, it’s important for you to be happy, but there’s nothing wrong with going the extra mile to outwardly show your love for your significant other.

Now I’m not talking about abandoning self-care or waiting on them hand over foot, I’m talking about making them feel warm and fuzzy inside.  Not only will the right partner appreciate the show of grace, but they will want to do the same for you.

Make work fun

Here are some helpful suggestions to make work fun:


 1: Listen to music.
If practical, bring some headphones or portable stereo with you to work. If someone complains, tell them to consider this: researchers at the University of Illinois found that people who listened to music while doing complex analytical work or administrative tasks increased their productivity.

2: Fung Shui your workspace.
Energize and organize your workspace by doing some of all of the following: use colored post-its or paper clips, stack your baskets, use color-coded folders, get a small plant or flower, or have pictures and other inspirational stuff around.

3: Have a stress ball or something else to play with.
If you work on a computer or talk to people all day, it can get boring and stressful real quick. Having something pliable in your hand, like a stress ball, can help ease the boredom.

4: Change your screensaver.
Instead of your company logo, change the computer screen to a picture of nature, your favorite sports team or something else that is pleasant.

5: Use your breaks to their full advantage.
Contrary to the corporate mindset, extended time at your desk does not increase productivity. Long stretches of concentrated work demand that your brain and body recharge, and you should be doing so.

6: Create special interest groups.
Incorporate passionate endeavors into the workplace by forming a group with likeminded people. Create a fantasy football group, exercise group, political or current events group, etc…

7: Have a potluck.
Regardless of what anyone says, food is fun. People love preparing food that they know will be enjoyed and appreciated by their coworkers.

8: Have Team-building events.
Find a way to get out of the office and enjoy each other’s company. This brings your group closer together and provides a nice boost to morale and productivity.

9: Celebrate milestones and successes.
People love recognition for a job well done and for their loyalty. Concentrate your resources and provide a small cash bonus or some kind of memento that shows appreciation for that individual’s efforts.

10: Prizes for production.
When a coworker achieves or does something beyond the normal scope of their duties, such as making the first sale of the day or staying a half-hour late for their team, have some small prizes for them to choose from.

11: Work for yourself, either on the side or full-time.
Consider doing enjoyable freelance work or starting your own business from home. There are many ways to earn an income, or even multiple incomes, on your own schedule and your own terms.

12: Have a charity day.
There’s something to be said about a workplace that gives back to the community. Consider a paid day where staff can get out of the office and contribute something to the greater good.

13: Send funnies around.
Send out an email with a good (appropriate!) joke and watch the tension and stuffiness of the workplace diminish. This reinforces the important element of humor in the workplace…and it is important.

14: Supervisor roasting.
This is a blast. Managers are unique in that eyes are constantly on them, and as a result so are their little quirks. Have a day where a good-natured manager can take a little ribbing and share some laughs with their team.

15: Teammate roasting.
This, too, is a blast. While not quite as fun or fulfilling as roasting a manager, some good-natured humor directed at your teammate is a good morale booster.

16: Have a welcome committee.
When new team members join, have them fill out some fun information about themselves (favorite sports team, hobby, TV show, anything), and have the committee take them out to lunch or surprise them with fun stuff for their workspace.

17: Pick your own schedule.
For team members that deliver excellent results, let them pick their own schedule for the week or the month.

18: Games, games, games.
Some workplaces have video game systems, table tennis, or foosball tables available for people to play on their breaks and lunches, and as a reward for excellent production. This is a huge morale booster and keeps the workplace productive and fun.

19: Have a movie day.
It’s simple to set up a TV and DVD player, so gather the team or the workplace around and watch a flick. From experience, this is a fun and productive event. Comedies are awesome, as the team can share and enjoy some laughter – another important part of having fun in the workplace.

20: Take fun seriously.
Kind of a paradox, yes; but workplaces that mix fun stuff into their workplaces are healthier, more productive, and distinguish themselves from the grind that so many other employers put their workers through. Taking the idea of fun in the workplace as a serious notion, either by yourself or as a team, brings happiness and joy to a place where it is much-needed.

How do you know if it’s truly love or just lust?

Sometimes our heart and mind get so caught up that it’s hard to tell the difference. In the moment, we feel so amazing that sometimes we just don’t care. But, it’s important to be careful. A broken heart can be devastating. Especially if you allow yourself to fall in love with the wrong person (in that case check out Karen Salmansohn’s book “Prince Harming Syndrome”). Or, if you develop strong feelings for someone who doesn’t desire the same level of commitment.

Any and all situations can arise, but we specifically want to help you determine if it’s truly love or just lust.
How to Tell If It’s LOVE. . . or Just Lust

First, it’s important to know exactly what both are and what they aren’t.

Real, true, unconditional LOVE is an intense feeling of affection – it’s fondness, warmth, attachment and endearment in the most intense and powerful way.  True love forms a strong emotional attachment. It withstands troubles, problems, imperfections and upset.

Lust is simply a very strong sexual desire. Lust revolves completely around attraction and sex. While lust is needed for love, love is not needed for lust. It can feel very powerful and usually it does. ;)  But, it cannot withstand time. It’s not unconditional and it will fade.

This may contribute to today’s divorce rate. You’ve got to be careful not to allow lust to dominate the relationship when love is truly the driving force for a beautiful, lasting relationship.

To fall in love, you must be willing to accept that person at their very best and worst. You get to know them fully and see them for who they truly are. You learn about their past and talk about their aspirations for the future. If together you see yourself as a perfect fit and can truly visualize your life together, you may be falling in love.

When you truly fall in love, it’s mutual. You are both head over heels for each other. Falling in love doesn’t mean your life will always be easy. Because, truthfully, it can get tough. But, you can be tough together (trust me you’ll need to be).
You know you’re in love when you. . .

– Fall in LOVE with someone who absolutely adores YOU – who cherishes you fully and embraces your imperfections.

– Fall in LOVE with someone you can’t stop thinking about. ;)

– Fall in LOVE with someone who you love with your whole heart.

– Fall in LOVE with someone that you think is absolutely, all-over-the-place SEXY – mind, body & soul!

– Fall in LOVE with someone who cares about your happiness and listens openly about your feelings.

– Fall in LOVE with someone you admire and who admires you.

– Fall in LOVE with someone that finishes your sentences and compliments who you are.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who makes you feel like you’re the most amazing person in the whole world.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who has strengths in areas that you need improvement. Many of the best relationships are people who are complete opposites.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who you get lost in conversation with (for hours at a time)!

– Fall in LOVE with someone who makes you want to be a better person and can help you do that.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who WANTS to meet your closest friends and family, and then accepts you even after that.

– Fall in LOVE with someone who you hold a deep romantic passion for. In fact, they are the only one you desire!

The TRUTH is when you fall in love, you aren’t choosing lust or love. You are creating a balance of the two. Both are needed for a successful, long lasting relationship. Cheers to you and your relationship success! <3

Finish the sentence: “Fall in LOVE with someone . . . “

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