A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

 How to we prevent our own relationship from becoming a statistic? With that in mind, here are 4 important ingredients in your recipe for a lasting relationship.

4 INGREDIENTS FOR A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

1. SUSTAIN THE SENSE OF EXCITEMENT
Unfortunately the spark of attraction that brought you together is not enough to keep you together long term. Some couples easily slide into the boredom of routine, careers, and raising children. When your daily conversations are only about what to cook for dinner and who should take out the trash, it’s difficult to remember the passion that you once felt for your partner.

On the other hand, you can keep the excitement going by adding new and interesting activities to your relationship. The good news is that you don’t have to spend a lot of money or plan outlandish vacations to reignite the excitement.

Start by adding something small and new once a week, like going for a drive in a neighborhood that you haven?t been to before. Even this seemingly minimal change gives you new topics to talk about and a fresh perspective. Then you can go for bigger thrills, like a hot air balloon ride or a whale watching tour. The key ingredient is to keep it fresh and interesting.

2. LISTEN MORE THAN YOU SPEAK
Imagine that you came home from work with the exciting news that your boss loved your presentation and when you told your partner, they didn’t look up from their cell phone and only muttered “Uh huh, that’s great” without any enthusiasm in their voice. You’d probably feel upset, angry, frustrated, unloved and unappreciated.

Instead, picture this in response to your good news; your partner immediately makes eye contact with you when you begin speaking, they set their phone down, they stand up and hug you after you tell them the good news and they respond with “Oh, that?s fantastic! I knew you would do great on that! Let’s go celebrate at your favorite place!”



The difference is obvious, and you know which one you’d prefer to receive from your partner. Just like the golden rule of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, give your partner the courtesy of responding with the same enthusiastic attention when they talk.

Clear communication is only part of a good relationship. Being mentally and emotionally present for your partner is an equally important ingredient for a lasting relationship.

3. BE WILLING TO NEGOTIATE
You really want to go to see a new movie that just came out, but your partner had a long day at work and just wants to rest at home. You make your case and your partner makes theirs. You just had an argument. How you resolve this is a big ingredient in making your relationship last.

They key to negotiating is seeking a win-win for both of you. You give a little, they give a little, and you both end up happy with the result. In this scenario, you might suggest that your partner catch a nap first and you can go see a later movie.

Respecting that you both have needs is key to how well you cooperate. If your partner made a sacrifice so that you could have your way, show appreciation for the fact that they gave up something that they really wanted so that you could be happy.

If there are major things that you can’t compromise on, like having children, converting to your partner’s religion or moving far away from your family for their work relocation, these may be a breaking point for the relationship. Ideally your limits on these topics are things that you discussed prior to making a long term commitment to your partner.

4. TAKE COMMITMENT SERIOUSLY
Wanting the relationship to last is not enough; you have to take action to demonstrate your devotion to your partner. A study found that regardless of how much the partners wanted a lasting relationship, the inclination to engage in behaviors that supported the relationship was more important to how long the relationship lasted.

On the other hand, if one partner is doing all of the difficult work, for example, making sacrifices, apologizing, asking about their partner’s feelings, or tackling issues while the other partner does not engage in these behaviors, researchers found that the relationship was more likely to end.

SIX COMMON SIGNS OF DIRTY LUNGS

Yes, the lungs do indeed perform that vital function, but they’re actually quite magnificent organs when explored. So, before we get into what harms these vital organs, let’s take a closer look at what they entail.

LET’S DISCUSS SIX COMMON SIGNS OF DIRTY LUNGS FIRST:
1: CHRONIC COUGH
When a cough lasts for over a month, it is considered chronic in nature. In all likelihood, medication has been tried and as failed. This should be taken as a sign that something is wrong with the respiratory system.

2: PERSISTENT MUCUS PRODUCTION
When our airways are irritated or infected, they will produce mucus (or phlegm) as a defense. If this incessant mucus production lasts longer than a month, it may be a warning sign of lung problems.

3: LASTING CHEST PAIN
Chest pain that inexplicably last for longer than a month may be a warning sign. It’s a sign that the lungs are involved if the chest pain is brought on, or made worse, from inhaling, exhaling or coughing.


4: SHORTNESS OF BREATH
When shortness of breath occurs, it is usually due to a heart of lung condition. This symptom can be narrowed down to either/or, since both are involved in the transport of oxygen to tissues and the removal of carbon dioxide. When either one of these problems occurs, it results in shortness of breath.

5: COUGHING BLOOD
When coughing up blood occurs, it’s always a problem with either the lungs or the upper respiratory tract. Needless to say, this is something that requires immediate attention; as it may signal a severe health problem.

6: WHEEZING
Wheezing is a high-pitched whistling sound that usually occurs when breathing out (exhaling), but may occur when breathing in. This is usually a sign that a foreign object is blocking the normal flow of air into the lungs or constricting the lung’s airways.

NOW THAT WE KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR, HERE ARE 6 WAYS TO HELP PURIFY YOUR LUNGS.
1. DON’T SMOKE
If it isn’t apparent by now, smoking is probably the worst thing someone can do to their lungs. Hopefully, an education on what this harmful habit does to the lungs is enough to get someone to quit; if not, seek out some people for support. There are plenty of terrific, free resources available online that could help. There’s even a smoking hotline.

2. BREATHE DEEP
Deep breathing for half an hour a day can help purify the lungs. This practice flushes out many of the impurities that accumulate in the lungs. Meditation and yoga are two great practices to take on for this purpose, and they will help with the mental aspect of purification as well.

3. DRINK GREEN TEA
Catechins are antioxidants that may help reduce the risk of lung cancer, and green tea is a rich source. In a study done at Chung Shan Medical University in Taiwan, researchers discovered that drinking green tea could reduce the risk of lung cancer by up to five times. Dr. I-Hsin Lin states: “The antioxidants may inhibit tumor growth,” and “Green tea can protect them from lunch cancer risk, a cup or more a day (is recommended” according to the lead researcher.

4. LOAD UP ON ANTIOXIDANTS
Ingesting antioxidants appeared to be a recurring theme in researching for this article. Another source states that drinking 400 ml of pineapple or cranberry juice before bed helps to fight infection-causing bacteria in the lungs.

5. USE THE EUCALYPTUS
Eucalyptus contains a natural expectorant (decongestant) compound that helps clear our lungs of toxins. Apparently, the plant is terrific in helping to soothe a sore throat and sinus problems. A great way to achieve this effect is by putting 5 to 10 drops of eucalyptus oil in a bowl of hot water, placing the head over the bowl and covering the head with a towel. That certainly sounds refreshing!

6. GET SOME OREGANO
Another natural decongestant is oregano, which also contains anti-histamine properties. Combined, these elements are effective in clearing out nasal pathways and assisting the respiratory function. To get these terrific benefits, simply sprinkle some oregano into some food or drink on a daily basis.

CANCER-CAUSING FOODS YOU NEED TO AVOID

Causes of cancer are either biological factors that we can’t control, like our genes, or environmental factors that we can control, like the amount of solar radiation that we expose ourselves to. Of the environmental risks, one that affects us on a daily basis is the food that we eat.

CANCER-CAUSING FOODS YOU NEED TO AVOID
1. BPA-LINED CANNED GOODS
Manufacturers are beginning to switch their cans to non-BPA plastic lined ones following a Harvard study that compared eaters of canned soup to homemade. They found that ‘a couple hours after eating, the people who had canned soup had BPA levels in their urine that were about 12 times higher than the people who didn’t.’

BPA is an endocrine disruptor and according to the study, it ‘has been linked with cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and obesity in humans.’ In another study, BPA was also been linked to breast cancer.

2. PESTICIDE SPRAYED PRODUCE
According the EPA, ‘Relatively small amounts of ethylene oxide are used as a sterilant for food (spices).’ The chemical is also used as a spray pesticide for crops. The EPA also says that ‘Some human cancer data show an increase in the incidence of leukemia, stomach cancer, cancer of the pancreas, and Hodgkin’s disease in workers exposed to ethylene oxide.’

In a study of workers who were exposed to ethylene oxide, researchers found an increased risk of malignancy in individuals with extended and intermittent exposure to low concentrations of ethylene oxide. At the grocery store, look for organic produce and avoid unnecessary exposure to these possible causes of cancer.

3. PRESERVATIVES THAT MIMIC ESTROGEN
Some food additives, such as propyl gallate and 4-hexylresorcinol are xenoestrogenic substances, meaning that they affect estrogen receptors in the body. These hormone disruptors are associated with a higher risk of breast cancer.

4. MICROWAVED FOOD
When you buy a microwave dinner, the plastic tray that it comes in is designed to withstand the heat of your appliance. However, plastic packaging that gets heated can release plastic into the food that you consume. Some may contain BPA which we have already listed has a connection to cancer.

Microwave meals also often contain preservatives and additives to enhance their appearance. Steam your own broccoli on the stovetop rather than buying the convenient microwave steam package and avoid the heated plastic.

5. NITRITES IN PROCESSED MEATS
The Cancer Treatment Centers of America says that ‘During the process of cooking certain meats, sodium nitrites combine with naturally present amines in the meat to form carcinogenic N-nitroso compounds. When ingested, these compounds are associated with cancer.’ Consumption of processed meat was linked to increased pancreatic cancer risk in one study and other research has suggested links between hot dogs and brain cancer.



6. MILK FROM COWS TREATED WITH HORMONES
Cows that have been given Recombinant Bovine Growth Hormone (rBGH) to increase milk production pass the growth hormone IGF-1 on to consumers when they drink the milk. According to the American Cancer Society, ‘The evidence for potential harm to humans is inconclusive. It is not clear that drinking milk produced using rBGH significantly increases IGF-1 levels in humans or adds to the risk of developing cancer.’

Consumers are demanding organic milk that does not come from cows who were given rBGH. You can find rGBH-free milk by reading labels. When it comes to this avoidable additive to your food supply, it may be best to avoid it altogether.

7. MEAT TREATED WITH HORMONES
A World Health Organization report says that following an animal study, ‘the group concluded that there is sufficient evidence for the carcinogenicity of estradiol in experimental animals, noting that: Administration to mice increased the incidences of mammary, pituitary, uterine, cervical, vaginal, testicular, lymphoid and bone tumours.’

8. IRRADIATED FATTY FOOD
An FDA report says that ‘Irradiation of foods is intended to improve the quality, variety and safety of foods. For example, food products are irradiated to sterilize or disinfect them, to improve their sprouting, delay ripening, eliminate food-borne parasites, or simply enhance their appearance.’

Meat, poultry and eggs can all be irradiated foods. A study found that irradiated food that contained fat produced a compound that caused DNA damage when applied to both rats and human colon cells. The FDA requires irradiated food to be labeled with ‘treated with radiation’ so avoid foods with this on the label.

9. FAST FOOD
Fast food is not good food for us. The cancer risks at chain restaurants include charred meat, high temperatures applied to oils, preservatives, and mass produced food treated with hormones and pesticides.

Acrylamide is known to cause cancer by damaging DNA. This substance is produced when starchy foods are heated to high temperatures, and is found in foods such as potato chips and French fries.

According to cancer.gov, we can avoid acrylamide in our food by boiling potatoes, reducing cooking time, blanching them before boiling or drying them in a hot oven after frying.

10. ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS
The low calorie chemicals that mimic the sweetness of natural sugar have been controversial. Aspartame had mixed results with lab rats but has been deemed safe for human consumption. Even if a small percentage of a very small animal got cancer when it received a dose of the stuff, is it something that you really need to be consuming?

Benefits of reading

What are the other benefits of reading? Well, let us list the numerous benefits below for you.

HERE ARE TEN GREAT REASONS YOU SHOULD READ EVERY DAY:
1. ENHANCED INTELLIGENCE AND KNOWLEDGE
No real surprise here – when you read, it improves intellect and builds upon your knowledge base. Understandably, many of us underestimate the power (and fun!) of reading when we are young. As we get older, however, we come to realize that books are interesting, with many of them having the magical ability to “transport” us to different places – fantasy or fiction.

It is easy to take for granted the fact that countless amount of information is available and accessible at our whim. If we’re interested in a topic or with to engage intellectually with a topic that interests us, we can usually find something that’s been written about it – and read about it.

2.  INCREASED VOCABULARY
It is said that vocabulary is the best indicator of intelligence – if this is the case, #1 certainly makes sense! Anyways, when you listen to someone and are unsure of a word that they’ve used, it can be frustrating to continue the conversation. Further, it can be somewhat embarrassing to ask what a particular word means in the middle of a conversation. Deciding to read instead of watching TV is a fantastic way to expand your vocab which, in turn, enhance communication ability. Speaking of communication ability…

3.  ARTICULACY
With a more expansive vocabulary, one becomes more articulate as well. Most of us are cognizant of the way that we speak to others. We want to sound reasonably bright and knowledgeable when we communicate to those around us. Further, the ability to articulate and use language well is an extremely powerful and influential tool to those around us. When you read more and more, your brain has the magnificent ability to (often subconsciously) remember words and expressions that can enhance the ability to express yourself.



4. MORE CONCENTRATION
Perhaps more than anything else out there, reading books sharpens your concentration ability. To be able to follow a storyline, one page at a time, requires mental staying power. Make no mistake about it, concentration is a direct byproduct of willpower; when you increase your innate ability to concentrate, you increase willpower. In this way, reading books on a regular basis can improve many different areas of your life – work, school and even social engagements.

5. HEIGHTENED CREATIVITY AND IMAGINATION
As reading increases mental flexibility, heightened creativity and imagination is often a direct result. Many types of writing – poems, novels, short stories, etc. – require us to picture people, places and things in our mind’s eye. As such, our brain’s wonderful ability to create and imagine are enhanced. When we are more imaginative and creative, we often produce work and other things that are more innovative and interesting.

6. SHARPER CRITICAL THINKING
Reading is an excellent way to increase our ability to analyze and assess information. Books often contain very specific information that, if missed, can result in missing a key point of information. The ability to analyze information and make educated assessments based upon that information is a very important function of our daily life. We can thank reading for improving these critical skills.

7. MENTAL HEALTH
Most of us are quite conscious about our physical health. We (at least somewhat) watch what we put into our body and make the attempt to get some sort of physical activity. Well, just as the body requires physical exertion to stay fit, the mind does as well. Some research has also shown that regular readers not only improve their cognitive ability, but also may be better protected against ailments such as Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

8.  RELAXATION
Yes, reading can bring some much needed stimulation to your brain, but it can also help you wind down. This is especially true of tranquil and spiritual texts such as the Bible, Quran, and other scripture. Self-help books and other inspirational materials can help bring about a sense of peace.

9.  EXPANDS YOUR WORLDVIEW
Without sounding too harsh, so many people have such limited perspective on the world around us. These people are so wrapped up in their own little world that they forget there is a nearly limitless one out there to be discovered. Reading is powerful in the sense that it can engage us with other peoples, cultures, ideologies, religious and spiritual beliefs, politics, etc. without ever booking a flight. In our opinion, it is important to be engaged with the world around you, and reading provides that opportunity.

10. PERSONAL ENRICHMENT AND ACCOMPLISHMENT
Education does not end with a degree or diploma… it is a lifelong journey that is immeasurably valuable; perhaps more so than anything else that’s existed. In many ways, a free book is more educational than a six-figure degree. How would we ever intimately know the world around us or ourselves without the innate curiosity to learn?  Reading is a terrific way to satiate this curiosity and experience tremendous personal growth in the process.

YOU MAY BE CONSUMING TOO MUCH SODIUM

People with heart failure may improve their symptoms by reducing the amount of salt (sodium) in their diet. Eating too much salt causes the body to retain too much water, worsening the fluid build-up associated with heart failure.
Sodium (salt) is a necessary mineral for the human body to ingest. It effectively supplies electrolytes and maintains the fluid levels within our cells. It is also essential to the healthy transmission of nerve impulses within the body. Further, sodium plays a key role in the digestion of food.

HERE ARE 5 SIGNS YOU MAY BE CONSUMING TOO MUCH SODIUM:

1. INFLAMMATION AND WEIGHT GAIN
Sodium is predominantly concentrated on the outside of our cells. When the amount of sodium available in these areas is excessive, this causes the kidneys to reduce the amount of water released into the urine. The result is increased water retention and edema (or swelling) in various parts of the body. Further, although sodium does not directly correlate with fat gain, it does increase water weight that will show up on the scale.

2. KIDNEY STONES
Excessive sodium, often from salt, results in the kidneys having to excrete more calcium into the urine. A high concentration of calcium will often combine with other minerals – such as oxalate and phosphorous – which will then harden and form “stones.” Since sodium intake is excessive is most people’s diets – combined with the importance of calcium, something most people don’t get enough of – it is recommended that we reduce the amount of sodium ingested by altering our diets. Further, calcium is an absolute necessity to healthy bones (more on this in a bit).

3. CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE
Research presented at a 2010 American Heart Association meeting revealed the following statistics:

– Excessive salt consumption led to 2.3 million heart-related deaths worldwide.

– 42% of deaths were a result of coronary heart disease.

– 41% of deaths were the result of stroke.

The World Health Organization – the world’s preeminent association on public health – has directly linked excessive sodium intake and cancer. The evidence is quite clear: too much salt is bad for our hearts and can lead to multiple types of cancer.

4. COGNITIVE DECLINE
A Canadian study undertaken in 2011 suggests that adults who consume a high-sodium diet are at a greater risk of cognitive (brain) decline. According to the researchers, this result was “independent of hypertension and global diet quality” and “suggests that sodium intake alone may affect cognitive function in sedentary adults above and beyond the effects of overall diet.” While the brain’s performance on a high-sodium diet is yet to be fully discovered, these preliminary research studies do warrant some caution. Further, exercise is known to effectively counteract these effects.

5. DECREASED BONE HEALTH
Our bones require foods with high concentrations of calcium to be healthy. Eating foods that have high levels of sodium directly causes the bones to lose calcium density, which can lead to bone loss. The National Osteoporosis Foundation (NOF) recommends limiting the amount of processed foods, canned foods and salt added to foods eaten each day. The NOF recommends inspecting the Nutrition Facts label on each food; if the sodium content is over 20% daily value, it is high in sodium and should be avoided. The NOF further recommends limiting sodium intake to less than 2,400 mg per day.

Complete elimination of processed food of any kind is very difficult; even many of the products that we see in the “fruit and vegetables” section of our neighborhood grocer can be classified as “processed”. However, it is feasible to make fresh fruits and vegetables more of a presence on our dinner plates. It’s also within our control to reduce our trips to fast food places while frequenting the grocery aisles of natural grocers more often.

Bottom line: some simple changes in our diets can drastically reduce the amount of sodium that we take in each day. In doing so, we’re creating and maintaining a healthier body and feeling much better about ourselves in the process. And if you still eat a high amount of salt, we recommend real salt.

If you are experiencing dreams of a deceased loved one

If you are experiencing dreams of a deceased loved one, here are 7 signs that they are trying to make contact with you.

7 SIGNS A DECEASED LOVED ONE IS CONTACTING YOU IN YOUR DREAMS

1. YOU WAKE WITH A SENSE OF HAVING BEEN WATCHED
So many people feel that loved ones watch over us after they leave us here on Earth. When you awaken after a dream and have a sense that someone was in the room with you, it is possible that your deceased loved one is trying to let you know just that; they are watching over you.

Although the feeling of being watched can be disturbing, in this case it should make you feel safe. You may have had a dream that someone was watching you too. Again, this could be your loved one letting you know that they are nearby.

2. VIVID MEMORIES OF YOUR LOVED ONE WERE IN YOUR DREAMS
Sometimes when you’re awake you remember your loved one, but having memories in your dreams is a sign that they may be trying to contact you. This is especially the case if your loved one helps you remember something that you don’t usually think about, like a forgotten memory of them. There may be a message in the memory that they want you to pay attention to also.

3. YOUR LOVED ONE APPEARS IN A DIFFERENT WAY THAN NORMAL
If your deceased loved one appears to you In your dreams, but they do it in an unusual way, it may be a sign that they are sending you a warning. Pay attention to clues that your loved one is trying to give you. They may be trying to help you avoid a harmful situation or warn you of an upcoming change.



4. YOU AWAKE WITH A SENSE OF PEACEFUL WELL-BEING
What a wonderful feeling to wake up feeling peaceful and well-rested. It doesn’t happen often enough, but if your loved one was worried about your health and well-being, they may have tried to help you by sending you restful sleep.

A review of 20 after-death communications that were reported by people found that having encounters with the deceased helped people to cope with grieving. One of the ways that these visions helped people to cope was that people felt that their spiritual beliefs were supported by the contact with their deceased loved one.

This sense of spiritual peace helps you to cope with the loss and also to continue functioning in your daily life. Knowing that there is a life beyond death, and that your loved one is waiting for you helps you to feel comforted.

5. YOUR DREAM FEELS SO REAL
Visitation dreams can be very vivid and the dreamer may feel that the deceased loved one was really present. These dreams are so realistic that you can smell, feel, and hear your loved one. These real-feeling dreams are likely to be examples of your deceased loved one reaching out to contact you.

These dreams can be emotionally intense because you feel their presence so strongly. Often this will reawaken your grief. Your loved one did not mean to cause you pain, but they did want to be near you again.This type of dream is definitely a sign that your loved one was trying to contact you.

6. YOUR LOVED ONE LOOKED YOUNGER AND HEALTHIER THAN THEY WERE WHEN THEY PASSED
Your deceased loved one will often appear younger than they did when they passed. They appear healthy and vibrant, like you prefer to remember them. They want you to know that there was no suffering when they passed and now they are able to appear whole and happy to you.

7. YOUR DECEASED LOVED ONE TELLS YOU THAT THEY ARE OKAY AND STILL WITH YOU
In your dreams, sometimes your deceased love one can speak to you. You may hear their voice or just get a sense of what they are saying. Most often they know that you have been worried about where they are now so they will appear to you in a dream to tell you that everything is alright where they are now.

Being An Adult

What does being an adult mean anyway? Does it mean going to a 9-5 job, rushing out to the grocery store afterwards while trying to get the kids to behave, and paying our bills on time? Does it mean having a certain amount of money in our bank account, owning a house, and slowly paying off our student loans? Unfortunately, most of the world probably agrees with these definitions of being an adult. After all, we can’t really avoid responsibilities as we grow older, but should we let these obligations define us?

I mean, most of us don’t really know what we’re doing anyway – we’re just making choices, and hoping they’re the right ones for us, whatever that means. We all just kind of get thrown onto this planet, and have to adjust and try to make sense of it all as we go along. So, maybe being an adult means nothing more than getting older, and trying to have some fun along the way.


HERE ARE 8 THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T BELIEVE ABOUT BEING AN ADULT:
1. THAT YOU NEED TO HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT
Newsflash: no one knows all the answers. They might act like they do, but really, we never got a guidebook on how to live life. We never had a class in school called “How to Make the Right Choices and Not Screw Up.” If we did, life probably still wouldn’t make that much sense, because at the end of the day, we all live in a way that feels best to us. No one can teach us how to feel good about our decisions, or how to make the right ones. Just because you have a degree and a nice job, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t question your life from time to time. Having doubts doesn’t mean you are totally lost – it means you’re human.

Perfection doesn’t exist, and knowing all the answers to life’s questions doesn’t, either. Forget about knowing, and instead, focus on being. All the rest will work itself out.

2. THAT YOU NEED TO OWN A HOUSE
Who said you need to shell out $150,000+ on a piece of property? Who said to be a successful, upstanding citizen of society that you need to have ownership of, essentially, a giant box? It doesn’t make you any less of a person to either rent for your whole life, or have roommates until you turn 60, or whatever other living situation makes sense to you. Having a house sounds nice in theory, but it doesn’t come cheap most of the time, and the maintenance fees can really add up. According to a survey carried out by Hart Research Associates, over half of Americans can’t actually afford their house. Meaning, they’ve had to make major sacrifices or take a second job in order to cover their mortgage.

So, does it still sound appealing to have your own house?

3. THAT OTHER PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO ADULT BETTER THAN YOU
Comparing yourself to others won’t get you anywhere, except in a depressed state of mind. Also, just because people appear to have it together on the surface, you don’t know what happens behind closed doors. They might have crippling debt, rising mortgage payments, and other struggles that they don’t tell you about. So what if they make more money than you? That doesn’t equate to more happiness. In fact, a groundbreaking global study including 54 countries confirmed this fact back in 2010.



So, even if people seem to have more than you or appear to know all the answers, this doesn’t mean they have mastered adulting. They probably just know how to pretend really, really well.

4. THAT YOU SHOULD GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS
Again, no one said that to have a happy, successful life, you need to tie the knot with someone and reproduce. Society might pressure us to do these things, but we don’t have to listen. If you want these things, by all means, go for it, but you can have a fulfilling life without bearing children or having a life partner.

5. THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK AT A 9-5 JOB
What if you want to own a business? What if you want to draw and paint for a living, out of your own home? If you want a 9-5 job, then great! But if not, don’t feel like you have failed at adulthood or life in general. People follow different paths in life, and maybe yours doesn’t involve a 40 hour workweek. Your dream might involve something different, so just allow it to manifest without feeling guilty about carving your own path.

6. THAT YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH LIFE ON YOUR OWN
When we grew up, we had our parents or guardians to help us with life’s hurdles. They taught us to tie our shoes, to stand up to bullies, to take out the garbage at night, and other important things about life. However, somehow when we become adults, we are expected to do everything independently. However, we are social animals, so sometimes we will inevitably need some help and support. Don’t hesitate to speak up and ask questions or reach out to someone when you feel alone. This actually makes you more of a mature adult because you know your limits and don’t feel embarrassed to ask for help when you need it.

7. THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE MISTAKES OR STRUGGLE
Mistakes allow us to learn and grow. If we didn’t make them, we would never become transform from a caterpillar into a butterfly. We would stay in one spot, and never know what it means to overcome challenges. Adulthood DOES NOT equal perfection, so don’t expect everything to go smoothly. The bumps in the road make the journey worth it, as you’ll discover when you look back on the hard times and realize how much you grew because of them.

8. THAT YOU HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE OKAY
Adulthood also doesn’t mean putting on a fake smile and hiding your true feelings from the world. If you need to cry, scream, and throw things, then do it (as long as you don’t hurt yourself or others). Pretending and putting up walls doesn’t make you more of an adult; it just means you are suppressing your true emotions. Remember, we’re all just kids running around in adult bodies, stumbling around and trying to make good lives for ourselves. You don’t have to put on a smile every single day if you don’t feel like it. Some days will be harder than others, and if that means crying over a pint of ice cream and asking your best friend to come over, then so be it. You’re under no obligation to pretend, because humans have all sorts of emotions, and you don’t have to feel guilty for feeling them.