Get More Respect at Work
- What are you avoiding? Let's say that you need to confront someone at the office and assert your own best interests, but the prospect fills you with anxiety. To counter this, consider the costs of waiting, and compare those to the benefits of doing it, says Peter Desberg in Speaking Scared, Sounding Good.
- A shortcut to stop procrastinating. After you've made a decision to stand up for yourself or your ideas, misgivings might paralyze you. If this happens, note why you've stopped. After you realize that you're writing down the same silly excuse over and over, you'll shame yourself into taking action, says Desberg.
- Shrink your boss. If you feel intimidated in somebody's presence, try this suggestion from Erika Hilliard: Imagine your body growing until your head skims the ceiling. Now your boss looks like a 5-year-old child who wants a hug. See yourself smiling warmly, and the interaction is more likely to go well.
- Network without seeming desperate. Focus on "how you can help the people you meet, rather than on what they can do for you," says psychologist Bernardo Carducci. By bringing people together, "you will become powerful and vital, like Don Corleone."
- Set goals under your control. Before an important event, such as a job interview, list the anxiety-provoking factors. Then select the issues that you actually control, such as how you describe your accomplishments. Now tackle each issue, with methods such as a mock presentation, until your fears dissipate.
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